


superhero (stronger than you know)

by nighting_gale17



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Scars, quarantine au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23990671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nighting_gale17/pseuds/nighting_gale17
Summary: Buck hated what he saw when he looked in the mirror.His finger grazed lightly over the thick, ugly scars running down his face, from the bridge of his nose to his cheekbone. Another one was longer—extending down almost to the edge of his jaw and Buck hated it.
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 205





	superhero (stronger than you know)

**Author's Note:**

> Quarantine AU! I can't stop thinking about it so here is the first in what will probably be a couple of fics that will be posted in no particular order. Thanks for reading, drop kudos, or a comment on what you thought!

Buck hated what he saw when he looked in the mirror.

His finger grazed lightly over the thick, ugly scars running down his face, from the bridge of his nose to his cheekbone. Another one was longer—extending down almost to the edge of his jaw and Buck hated it.

All over the media, he saw people celebrating these scars, congratulating them on their bravery that's marked by the permanent scars on their faces. Buck knows that some people find them heroic or something but all he sees is another flaw, another piece of him to hate. The bright red, angry shade of the scars contrast starkly with the pale pallor of his skin. He couldn’t even keep looking at himself for more than a few seconds before he was tying a soft, cloth mask over his face.

With things finally seeming to settle down, the department had deemed it okay for them to wear these reusable cloth masks instead of the hard, awful plastic ones they’d been issued. May had sewn some, with Harry’s help, for the entire family. She’d even made extra for Buck, though not after giving him an almost twenty-minute lecture on why he shouldn’t be ashamed of the marks on his skin.

Buck didn’t believe her, but he was grateful for the extra masks.

The only time Buck had shown anyone the scars beneath the mask was Bobby. The older man understood Buck better than himself some days, so it wasn’t a surprise when he reassured him that he shouldn’t ashamed about the scars, but accepted his decision to continue wearing the masks anyway.

Buck was just absolutely terrified of anyone seeing him. Of Christopher seeing him and being scared because the awful scars that marked up his face made him look like a monster. Scared of Eddie seeing him looking like this and deciding he didn’t want him, finally coming to his senses and gong after a younger, prettier person to be with.

“Buck, baby,” Eddie’s hand brushed gently through his curls. “You gotta take that off while we sleep. You’ll smother yourself.”

Buck averted his eyes, trying to hide his shaking hands in the bedsheets when he felt Eddie’s fingers gently unhook the mask from his ear. His fingers were gentle as he pulled it off and Buck closed his eyes, unable to bear seeing the disgust or horror in Eddie’s eyes that he _knew_ was there.

“Oh, mi vida, lo siento…” Eddie’s voice was barely above a whisper, thick with emotion that made tears burn in the back of Buck’s eyes.

Soft hands hesitantly brushed over the scar on his right cheek and Buck flinched away from the touch violently, turning his head and biting back a sob. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, breath hitching as tears started to drip down his face.

“Bebé, what do you mean?” Eddie asked softly. “Sorry for what.”

“I-I look like a monster.” Buck pressed his hand against his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut as the tears started to fall faster.

“Oh, Buck,” Eddie murmured, his hand reaching out and grabbing Buck’s hand. “Hey, bebé, look at me, por favor?”

Buck did so slowly, reluctantly raising his head and opening his eyes to look at Eddie. Eddie, his lover, gazing at him with nothing but love and admiration in his eyes, with maybe a little sadness as well. “Evan, you’re the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on. Nothing will ever change that. You’re not a monster,” he continued, fingers brushing gently once again over the scars on Buck’s face. “You’re brave. Selfless. Kind. Gorgeous. Captivating.” He leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss. “You, Evan Buckley, are perfect.”

Buck sobbed softly, staring at Eddie through tear-glazed eyes, overwhelmed with the amount of love his boyfriend was showing him. Then he launched himself at him, letting the older man hold him tightly while he cried against his shoulder.

“Shhh…” Eddie shushed him comfortingly, one arm wrapped tightly around his torso while the other rubbed comfortingly along his back. “It’s okay, querido. You’re okay. I love you. You’re okay.”

Buck cried in Eddie’s arms for a long time before he finally quieted down, feeling a little shaky and drained from the leftover adrenaline and his crying session. He made no move to leave Eddie’s arms, though, pressing his face against his boyfriend’s neck and just enjoying being in the one place he hasn’t been able to be in _months_.

“Is this why you kept putting off coming home?” Eddie asked quietly.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t want me anymore,” Buck admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I-I thought Christopher would think I looked like a monster. Because of these disgusting scars on my face. I-I wouldn’t blame you but…” he trailed off, feeling his cheeks burn with shame. “I was selfish. I wanted to see you I-I didn’t want you to leave me.”

“Oh, cariño,” Eddie pulled back a little, looking down at Buck and cupping his cheek with a broken look on his face. “I will never leave you, Evan. Ever. Not even when we’re old and gray and full of wrinkles. I love you. Christopher loves you. He’s not going to care what you look like.”

Buck had to look away. “I’m disgusting.” his breath hitched with another sob. “T-These scars on my face and my _leg_ —”

“Hey, hey, Buck, no—” Eddie ducked his head until Buck met his eyes again. “There is nothing disgusting about you. These scars on your leg are reminders of how much you survived, remember?” he said, tracing a finger lightly along the back of Buck’s calf. “They’re a sign of your strength. And so are these.” Soft lips pressed gently against his cheek. “This shows me how brave and selfless you are—how kind. It shows me your strength, cariño, there is nothing disgusting about it.”

Hearing it come from Eddie and the soft way he cherished him made Buck believe his words just a little bit more. “I’m probably going to forget,” he warned, sniffing and pressing his forehead against Eddie’s. “You’re going to have to remind me a lot.

“I’ll always be here to remind you, mi amor,” Eddie promised, pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss. “I’m never leaving you.”

xxx

When the morning came, Buck was worried Eddie would find the scars as hideous as they truly were in the morning light. But Eddie knew Buck, and he was quick to smother him with kisses and reassurances that nothing had changed. He kept looking at Buck with this strange emotion in his eyes that made Buck blush, even though he wasn’t sure what it was.

It was rejuvenating being able to fall back into the morning routine he so dearly missed. The soft sizzle of the pancakes cooking on the stovetop while Eddie woke up Christopher and helped him with his morning exercises. The quiet giggles did more to ease his wounded soul than any medicine could ever hope to.

“Bucky!” Christopher’s screech had him turning around, barely getting to his knees in time to catch the young boy as he threw himself at him. Christopher’s arms clutched tightly around his neck and he was crying into his neck. “I-I missed you so much!”

“I know, buddy,” Buck whispered, unashamed of the tears on his own face, “I missed you, too. So much. I thought about you every day, you know? Even in-between our FaceTime calls.”

“Are you back forever this time?” Christopher asked, his voice hitching against Buck’s ear.

“Forever,” Buck promised, closing his eyes briefly before meeting Eddie’s eyes when he opened them again. “I’m not leaving you two again.”

Christopher demanded to be held for several minutes longer, his face staying buried against Buck’s neck. Buck had a feeling the clinginess would last for a while—but he definitely wasn’t going to complain. Not when it meant he got to hold his favorite person in the world after months of being apart.

When Christopher finally leaned back, Buck tensed as he felt those small hands press against his cheeks. He watched anxiously as Christopher stared at his face with wide eyes, his hand carefully running down his cheek. Christopher’s bottom lip wobbled a little and tears started falling from his eyes again. “Did Bucky get hurt?”

Buck hesitated, glancing over at Eddie standing right in front of him for help.

“Yeah, baby,” Eddie murmured, stepping forward and placing on hand on Christopher’s back and the other on Buck’s waist. “Bucky got hurt every day while he was helping people. That’s why he’s got these scars,” he explained gently.

Christopher sniffed, silent for a moment before he asked. “Like from the tsunami?”

He was referring to the multitude of little, faded white scars that scattered Buck’s body from where he took the brunt of the injuries while shielding Christopher from danger and saving other people.

“Yeah, just like that, buddy,” Eddie kissed the top of Christopher’s head. “Bucky was worried you would be scared if you saw them.”

“I could never be scared of you, Bucky,” Christopher swore vehemently, looking more serious than any nine-year-old had the right to be. He patted Buck’s cheek with one hand and smack a kiss on the other. “I think you look brave!” he declared. “Like Iron Man!”

“Is that so?” Buck chuckled wetly, blinking back the tears of relief. Eddie had told him, obviously, that he didn’t think Buck was hideous but—well, it was different, coming from a child. There was something about the earnest innocence about the declaration that settled his nerves and warmed his heart.

“Yup.” Chris nodded, as if that was that, the debate was settled. “Can we have pancakes now?”

Buck barked out a laugh, pressing a loud kiss against Christopher’s cheek before putting him down on one of the kitchen chairs. “Of course, buddy, anything you want.”

“I just missed your cooking. Daddy hasn’t gotten any better.” Christopher explained to him patiently, raising himself up and squinting his eyes as if that would let him see the pancake stacked on the counter across the kitchen easier.

“Of course he hasn’t.” Buck teased, accepting the soft kiss from Eddie before he grabbed the pancakes and started setting them out for the three of them. “Anything else you missed about me? Or was it just my amazing cooking?”

Christopher scrunched up his face thoughtfully for a minute before nodding. “Your hugs. Daddy’s missed your hugs too.”

Strong arms wrapped gently around his waist and Buck felt Eddie rest his chin on his shoulder. “He’s right,” Eddie murmured, pressing a kiss against the exposed skin on his neck. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Well, I’m not going anywhere for a long time,” Buck answered, twisting a bit and pressing a lingering kiss against Eddie’s lips. With paid vacation awaiting him and his family finally back at his side, Buck would finally allow himself to relax. Maybe now, everything would start to be alright again. A new normal—but Buck knew the three of them could weather anything the world threw at them.


End file.
